Ah found my way in!- haven't worked out where the headings are yet!!
Hello fellow blogies and blogetts, hopefully I will get to finish this without being interrupted.
I had decided to go on a rant about bullying, but now that is for another day when I am in need of some therapy! Instead a fellow blogetts page inspired my thinking today - so here goes
I suppose in life we have many definitions, I defined myself in my title or did I? Yes there are many days (which probably add up to years) when I wake up and think beam me up Scotty into someone else, I don't like the me I am and the life I am living,(and some bastard keeps winning the lottery jackpot that is meant for me!!) but then again I think about my life and whatever has happened to me, I truly believe happens for a reason - although one day I wish someone would bloody well tell me why and for what! But I suppose I will have to wait until I reach the pearly gates to find out - not that I am assuming I will be invited in - I think the scales could tip either way, but as I am not finished living yet we will have to see!
I think everything that happens to us good, bad or indifferent or the people we meet, love and lose happens for a reason. The best way I can think of describing it is as if we are a drop of water that makes a puddle, with each drop it grows until it is a river or sea, we are all part of something and serve a purpose even as I said above we haven't got a clue what that might be.
If you have children, as much as you love them you would have to be a saint not to think at sometimes "let me out" I am a person in here, I want my life back I need to live it, I have things to do, places to see, things to experience!
In my head I am still about 24 and even catch myself glancing at clothes which I would have worn then but would look totally ridiculous now on a middle aged mum (it would be sooo totally mutton dressed as lamb!), I pass mirrors and the thought runs through my head "where have I gone, where is the me inside, whose taken over my body and replaced it with that", and then a little voice at the back of my mind says "when the children are all grown up I will have time to be me."
The flip side to that, is I have children from 12 to 25, three are already adults and now when I spend time with my kids or go on holiday I realise how little a time we really have with them, we are always busy or working and their lives are racing on, soon my last two babies will be men and won't need me, I wonder what will fill the void that for all my wantings to be "me" I now realise will be there.
Although I have the hankering to be the me I think I am, I realise that the children and all my experiences are what makes "me" whether or not I like "me" all the time is another thing and everything I do takes me on another step of my journey of life.
To my fellow blogett, don't give up that one day you will become the you, you want to be - as I said you have a special talent with your writing and no doubt being a great mum - this may sound a little mad but I think of you more like a bulb (no not an electric one!). With the circle of life a bulb lays in the ground, we can't see it as sometimes it is dormant especially buried right down in the dark days of winter, but things still happen to it and around it which we may not realise or easily see, but these make it grow till eventually it bursts forth out the ground and becomes a beautiful flower, you are that flower just keep the strength that out of the dark always comes the light, just as day follows night and what is now, is for a reason, but it will bit by bit move you forward to make you become the person you want to be. (In my case and with my luck it will probably be when I am totally wrinkly, grey and toothless - but that's my vanity going into overdriven.
Going back to subject of children (and partners) - when we have them as we all know we do have to compromise and makes sacrifices and sometimes lose sight of the me inside or life we want have, but as much as we do this it is weighed against how much they bring to our lives and enrich them (on second thoughts I'll leave the hubby/partner equasion out of this - that is too long and for another day and the jury is still out on where they come in the scheme of things!)- who knows which one of us has given birth to the next Einstein, Alexander Flemming, Marie Curie, Florence Nightingale, Alexander Graham Bell, Edison (or god forbid a Hitler). One of our descendants may be the one to cure Cancer or discover how to save the planet!!
See as we are, as I think droplets, who knows where the ripples will end. Well I know where this is ending because I am lapsing into a total ramble!! and I have an offspring to pick up - who is off on a school trip in the morning which means we have to leave the house at 5 a.m. aaaargh!!!
Finally for all my rambin' on I know deepdown that in the scheme of things and whatever life chucks at me (and it hasn't been doing a bad job so far)I am lucky I have a family that loves me and we are all healthy and I have some wonderful friends who I wouldn't swap for anything!
Keep well and hope your space wherever it is, is a happy peaceful one.
Till the next time I get some peace and quiet to write and ramble.
Caio Blogies and Blogettes.
PS When you read this if you come across any peculiar words I accidentally hit the replace button upteen times instead of the ignore button and I can't see them for looking!!
Hello fellow blogies and blogetts, hopefully I will get to finish this without being interrupted.
I had decided to go on a rant about bullying, but now that is for another day when I am in need of some therapy! Instead a fellow blogetts page inspired my thinking today - so here goes
I suppose in life we have many definitions, I defined myself in my title or did I? Yes there are many days (which probably add up to years) when I wake up and think beam me up Scotty into someone else, I don't like the me I am and the life I am living,(and some bastard keeps winning the lottery jackpot that is meant for me!!) but then again I think about my life and whatever has happened to me, I truly believe happens for a reason - although one day I wish someone would bloody well tell me why and for what! But I suppose I will have to wait until I reach the pearly gates to find out - not that I am assuming I will be invited in - I think the scales could tip either way, but as I am not finished living yet we will have to see!
I think everything that happens to us good, bad or indifferent or the people we meet, love and lose happens for a reason. The best way I can think of describing it is as if we are a drop of water that makes a puddle, with each drop it grows until it is a river or sea, we are all part of something and serve a purpose even as I said above we haven't got a clue what that might be.
If you have children, as much as you love them you would have to be a saint not to think at sometimes "let me out" I am a person in here, I want my life back I need to live it, I have things to do, places to see, things to experience!
In my head I am still about 24 and even catch myself glancing at clothes which I would have worn then but would look totally ridiculous now on a middle aged mum (it would be sooo totally mutton dressed as lamb!), I pass mirrors and the thought runs through my head "where have I gone, where is the me inside, whose taken over my body and replaced it with that", and then a little voice at the back of my mind says "when the children are all grown up I will have time to be me."
The flip side to that, is I have children from 12 to 25, three are already adults and now when I spend time with my kids or go on holiday I realise how little a time we really have with them, we are always busy or working and their lives are racing on, soon my last two babies will be men and won't need me, I wonder what will fill the void that for all my wantings to be "me" I now realise will be there.
Although I have the hankering to be the me I think I am, I realise that the children and all my experiences are what makes "me" whether or not I like "me" all the time is another thing and everything I do takes me on another step of my journey of life.
To my fellow blogett, don't give up that one day you will become the you, you want to be - as I said you have a special talent with your writing and no doubt being a great mum - this may sound a little mad but I think of you more like a bulb (no not an electric one!). With the circle of life a bulb lays in the ground, we can't see it as sometimes it is dormant especially buried right down in the dark days of winter, but things still happen to it and around it which we may not realise or easily see, but these make it grow till eventually it bursts forth out the ground and becomes a beautiful flower, you are that flower just keep the strength that out of the dark always comes the light, just as day follows night and what is now, is for a reason, but it will bit by bit move you forward to make you become the person you want to be. (In my case and with my luck it will probably be when I am totally wrinkly, grey and toothless - but that's my vanity going into overdriven.
Going back to subject of children (and partners) - when we have them as we all know we do have to compromise and makes sacrifices and sometimes lose sight of the me inside or life we want have, but as much as we do this it is weighed against how much they bring to our lives and enrich them (on second thoughts I'll leave the hubby/partner equasion out of this - that is too long and for another day and the jury is still out on where they come in the scheme of things!)- who knows which one of us has given birth to the next Einstein, Alexander Flemming, Marie Curie, Florence Nightingale, Alexander Graham Bell, Edison (or god forbid a Hitler). One of our descendants may be the one to cure Cancer or discover how to save the planet!!
See as we are, as I think droplets, who knows where the ripples will end. Well I know where this is ending because I am lapsing into a total ramble!! and I have an offspring to pick up - who is off on a school trip in the morning which means we have to leave the house at 5 a.m. aaaargh!!!
Finally for all my rambin' on I know deepdown that in the scheme of things and whatever life chucks at me (and it hasn't been doing a bad job so far)I am lucky I have a family that loves me and we are all healthy and I have some wonderful friends who I wouldn't swap for anything!
Keep well and hope your space wherever it is, is a happy peaceful one.
Till the next time I get some peace and quiet to write and ramble.
Caio Blogies and Blogettes.
PS When you read this if you come across any peculiar words I accidentally hit the replace button upteen times instead of the ignore button and I can't see them for looking!!
posted by Leolady at
3:52 PM
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